Don’t stop movies, stop Rape – How we can do it

Ban or no ban- I don’t think I am going to watch India’s Daughter. I don’t really need to see a film to know that rape is brutal, a rapist is a perverted narrow-minded misogynist, India is a patriarchy, lawmakers, lawyers and many people in our society have notions about women’s conduct that should have died centuries ago. From what I have read about the BBC documentary, there are no new dramatic insights about the causes for rape or radical solutions to prevent it.

 

The reactions it may provoke or the impression that it may create would not be any different from what the viewers may glean from the internet or newspapers.

 

The political energy, legal muscle and the media rhetoric that has gone into banning the movie film could have been channelized into doing something concrete to prevent such instances from happening again. I have seen numerous Facebook posts with people expressing anguish, outrage, sorrow or despair after watching the film. We did the same thing after we heard about the Nirbhaya rape case two years ago. We can tell ourselves that we are still humans with a capacity for empathy and compassion. Unfortunately, that alone is not enough.

 

As Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for evil to succeed is for good ‘men’ to do nothing. The good men and women have noble intentions- they talk, they walk in protest but it is time to move past that to action. I have said and I have heard many people say ‘The government should do something’, ‘ Someone should do something,’ ‘ I wish I could do something’. We don’t have to wait for sweeping judicial reforms or somebody else to make another movie.

 

There are things we all can do on a daily basis without too much effort or time that will in some way enable girls to feel stronger, men to feel more compassionate and create some change in the mindset of both.

 

So here are some of the things we CAN do in our role as a parent, an employer, a citizen, a social media user.

 

1. Learn self-defense – Enrol your daughter in a karate class. Join a self-defense class- Kickboxing, Judo. I know that lots of little boys who are learning this. Why not get the girls too? Getting strong and confident is just as important as looking good.

 

2. Tell a different bedtime story to your child. Too many fairy tales and folk tales reinforce the notion that girls are weak and need to be protected. Add a twist to the tale. Red Riding Hood takes an axe to the wolf herself! Sleeping Beauty gets up on her own and makes up with Maleficent! Cinderella and her stepsisters join hands and start an NGO for helping domestic workers! Get your kids friends together at the birthday party and tell them all such stories.

 

3. Have a talk with your sons and daughters. Tell them that it is important to call out instances of disrespect to people, disengage from activities that promote gender discrimination, stop giving derogatory gender-based nicknames to teachers, post negative comments on social media.

 

4. Support a cause in favor of women’s empowerment. Give some money, volunteer your help at an NGO that does this. Tell people that you have done this. Inspire Others

 

5. Go to the nearest police station and ask for details of rape cases that have been solved, unsolved, awaiting resolution. Write and talk about your experience. Put some pressure on the early resolution.

 

6. Start a Twitter account or Facebook group – #What I did to stop rape or #I can stop rape. Get your followers and friends to post what each person did.

 

7. Talk to your local MLA/MP/ Municipal Authority. Ask them what they have done to make your locality safe for women. Get at least 20 people to join you in this campaign. It could be just getting street lights to work, shifting a liquor vendor away from a residential area, getting regular police patrol.

 

8. Help a woman get a job or find a way to earn a decent income. Economic power and independence is a great source of confidence.

 

9. Start a Reward and Recognise Campaign– Record and share instances where men and women have stepped up or spoken out against rape, abuse, and discrimination. Do this in the workplace, neighborhood, school/college. We need stories of success and positive change.

 

10. Change one person – Identify a man or woman in your locality or circle whose behavior has been violent/abusive/disrespectful/discriminatory. It could be your driver, a neighbor, a colleague, friend’s mother-in-law, boss, maid or even a person on the street. Make them aware of their action and impact. Be firm. Be kind. Help them change.

 

Research and common sense show that peer pressure or the Principle of Conformity is one of the most powerful ways to influence a change. If you have done something good, tell other people. It is not boasting or showing off. It is a way to encourage and inspire others.

 

It is Women’s Day– a great occasion to make a start. It is easy to get cynical and lazy. We do it every day. It takes guts to step out and do something. A single person can start a revolution. Many people are already doing this. We can too. I truly believe that an individual action can make a difference just like the little boy and the starfish.

 

One day, an old man was walking along the beach in the early morning and noticed the tide had washed thousands of starfish up on the shore. Up ahead in the distance he spotted a boy who appeared to be gathering up the starfish, and one by one tossing them back into the ocean.

 

He approached the boy and asked him why he spent so much energy doing what seemed to be a waste of time.

 

The boy replied, “If these starfish are left out here like this they will bake in the sun, and by this afternoon they will all be dead.” The old man gazed out as far as he could see and responded, “But, there must be hundreds of miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can’t possibly rescue all of them. What difference is throwing a few back going to make anyway?”

 

The boy then held up the starfish he had in his hand and replied, “It’s sure going to make a lot of difference to this one!”

 

Pick one or two from the list. Add your own. Make a difference. Stop Rape.

 

This article was first published on IBN Live’s blog